I was encouraged to participate in a blog link party sponsored by “How Do You Do it” after commenting on Twitter that I could write about barely doing it and advice on just coping and getting by in motherhood and life. You can see the tweet below.
The reason I responded like that was because I don’t think I can even presume to say that I’m “doing it” regarding parenting or life at all. I’m coping. I’m a working, hobbied mom of three whose husband works out of town several days a week and every other weekend. And I just quit my job.
Yes, I just quit my job of seven years and will be starting a new one in about two week. Currently I work 40 hours a week, 5 of which are done at home with my four-year-old repeatedly trying to climb into my lap, mediating fights between my seven and nine year old sons and trying to protect the kitties that are constantly chased and lovingly tortured by all three children. It makes for fun times.
If you read this post you might realize my current job is fairly stressful but it allowed me the flexibility to pick up the kids from school, run some errands, take them to their sporting events or even work out. So long as I got my forty hours a week in. In addition to that I also write on the side and I do photography as well.
However it was time to move on from that particular day job, it had been time for awhile. I was lucky enough to find something great but it comes with a schedule that won’t have the flexibility so now my head is spinning. My son has track practice 3 times a week, two have music once a week. Little League and Soccer is coming up! Who will watch them after school? Who will take them to their events and meets? When will I get groceries?? How will I get them home at 6pm, sometimes 6:30 and get them fed, homeworked, bathed and in bed by 8:30? I’m panicking a little.
So how am I going to do it? I’m asking for help. There is no other way I could do it. I texted the track coach whose son has been friends with mine since Pre-K and asked if he could help me get him there on one or more of the track days. I asked my husband to take Thursdays as his day off so he could do the music and track practice that day. I might ask my nephew to pick up the kids from school on his day off so I can save a little bit of money on aftercare. I would ask my mother to help but she ran away down south for who knows how long.
Asking for help is a hard thing to do but it is something important to do. It takes a village after all. I know I am always happy and willing to help someone if I can so why shouldn’t I every now and then ask for someone to help me? In fact I was just thinking today how happy I am to help a friend by picking her son up from school every day this week. I’m glad I can help make someone’s life a little bit easier.
Asking for help has been a bit harder lately. The people I often relied on have moved away or had serious illnesses. I’ve had to ask people I’m less close to for help, which is hard, but they smile and respond “of course!”. I try to find ways to pay them back, offer to take their kids, a gift card, a thank you.. but there are just times when I can’t repay the favor or magnitude of kindness. In those times I think the only way to pay them back is to pay it forward. Like the time recently I gave a friend that was hard up for cash some random money for no reason. I’m sure it surprised her, but in my note I told her how 8 years ago a friend of mine had sent me random money because she knew I was struggling. I hope I was able to honor my friend’s kindness by passing it on to another.
So how do I do it? Heck if I know! I’m barely doing it. If I figure it out, if I’m still alive next month, I’ll clue you in. And no, you can’t have back the five minutes you spent reading this, sorry. Time wasted on this site is non-refundable.
Find other articles on others that are “doing it” better than I am by clicking the picture below. They may actually have some valuable advice 😉
3 thoughts on “Running on Fumes: On “Barely Doing it””
Oh, I am so glad you found our HDYDI link up! It’s not always about how you do it – it is totally okay if you aren’t doing it! Sometimes that’s just life for a while. And YES it is hard to ask for help. But, the thing is you don’t have to do it yourself.
Exactly! I have friends who have family around to help and I’m always envious but I am realizing if I just ask I can get help when I really need it. Though I should do a post on saying “no” too lol
I love how honest you are here. We HAVE to ask for help sometimes. Whenever I start to feel awkward about needing help, I remember how warm and good it feels to be able to help others.